so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
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