Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
