About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
