Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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