just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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