Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
