Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
it's not cheating when I paid for it
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
