I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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