We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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