Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Randomize
