Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Randomize
