I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I'm going to jail i love you
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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