I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
