i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize