apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
