no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize
