We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
