i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Floor bacon is actually really good
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
