So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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