its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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