I think im going to throw up on grandma
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
