we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
