I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
