Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
