Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
My vagina is officially offended.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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