would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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