How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
