do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Who died my cat blue again?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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