Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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