Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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