the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
