Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
