you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
