so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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