That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
