Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize