My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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