She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I think I won the penis lottery.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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