I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize