He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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