I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
