remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
