Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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