im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
