The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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