I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
