I puked a lego.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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