Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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