Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
