HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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