he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
