Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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