I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Randomize
