The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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