I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
