actually, I'm a sock model
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
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