How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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