Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
