i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈ðŸ˜
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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