He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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