none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I just want to make out with him forever
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Randomize
