Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
