I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
