Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
