oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
