Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Randomize
