If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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