I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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