i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
