He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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