these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
