The maid of honor just puked.
Don't make out with my wife yet
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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