who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
